This was really lovely. I spent four years living out of the country back in my 20's, and while I've never visited any of the places you mentioned, the way you described those scattered memories and the feelings of dislocation immediately struck me. Brought me back, in a way. Thank you!
Oh, that’s great. I was in Beijing for four years too — I think that’s long enough to really disconnect you from wherever you were before.
I sometimes wonder if we were meant to travel this way. Marco Polo inched his way across the continent. We just step off a flying tube and show up somewhere and it can be so disorienting.
This makes me think of Alain de Botton talking about an Arabic saying that the soul only travels at walking speed, so when we fly it takes time for it to catch up.
This was a really beautiful piece, btw. I think (and write) a lot about connection to the living human web, and as someone who's only ever moved country once, I only really have second-hand stories of what it's like to do this regularly.
“Connection to the living human web” interesting!! I’ve often felt that — that we are all connected. I can connect with a village farmer on the Great Wall of China who, at the time I was there, didn’t understand what my credit card was but we could have a discussion about where we were from and what we did for a living. I love how language forges connection. I’ve never thought of it that way but “living human web” captures it!
Thanks, Ben! After I re-read it, I started to wonder if anyone else would be able to follow it given all the place names…and just hoped it would make sense to someone who hasn’t been to Beijing!
It sure does, and I’ve never been to China though I am a big fan of Chinese literature esp. the poetry of Du Fu, Li Bai and Wang Wei. But Du Fu is my fave haha! 🙂
oh interesting, I know Li Bai from...maybe some work I did (I edited an anthology once on Chinese ghost stories?). The others, I don't know. My cultural understanding of China is all lived experience – I spent all my free time studying the language rather than learning about the culture!
But I love reading perspectives that are just so...different, that carry none of the cultural assumptions we're familiar with because they were forged in a completely different cultural environment. It's so interesting.
It’s very interesting and you’re lucky to have travelled and worked there. I’m fascinated by Japanese Buddhist thinking esp the nichiren school which came from China. Here is one of Du Fu’s poems if you feel like reading. Thanks Liya.
It’s hard to capture the feeling, isn’t it? But when you have it, you’re keenly aware of it. It’s hard to shake, too. It followed me for years and still emerges, once in a while.
Thank you, Liya, this is so good. I have lived in many places and I so much recognize the feeling of returning to a place where all friends are gone: it gives a strange mix of emotions. As in a dream, everything is still there but other people walk, sit, meet friends, where you used to do that. Especially in places like London or Vienna that don’t change. My last walk on Chang’an avenue is from 1989; the feeling there will be different since the street has changed as much as the people. Looking forward to read more of your writing.
It’s good to know that this is more of a universal experience for people who move a lot. For a while I thought I was sort of losing my mind…
1989 it would have been so different! My friend’s dad (the old China hand) told us about coming to China in the 80s when there was no paper money, just cards or whatever they used for foreigners. It was another world from the Beijing of 2009.
My first time to Beijing was 2006 and when I moved there just after Christmas 2008, it was completely changed. So built up. The place I’d stayed at was gone and the whole city was tall instead of flat. There used to be a man who rode through Qianmen selling coal in the morning in 2006. All that is gone, the whole area transformed.
But in 2009-2012, Chang’An Ave was totally open — no security. I was so surprised to see all the added security in 2019. I think the era I was there was maybe the most open.
This was really lovely. I spent four years living out of the country back in my 20's, and while I've never visited any of the places you mentioned, the way you described those scattered memories and the feelings of dislocation immediately struck me. Brought me back, in a way. Thank you!
Oh, that’s great. I was in Beijing for four years too — I think that’s long enough to really disconnect you from wherever you were before.
I sometimes wonder if we were meant to travel this way. Marco Polo inched his way across the continent. We just step off a flying tube and show up somewhere and it can be so disorienting.
This makes me think of Alain de Botton talking about an Arabic saying that the soul only travels at walking speed, so when we fly it takes time for it to catch up.
This was a really beautiful piece, btw. I think (and write) a lot about connection to the living human web, and as someone who's only ever moved country once, I only really have second-hand stories of what it's like to do this regularly.
“Connection to the living human web” interesting!! I’ve often felt that — that we are all connected. I can connect with a village farmer on the Great Wall of China who, at the time I was there, didn’t understand what my credit card was but we could have a discussion about where we were from and what we did for a living. I love how language forges connection. I’ve never thought of it that way but “living human web” captures it!
It's been such a helpful concept for me.
I'll be digging into more in the future, but discuss the concept in this piece if you're interested: https://theuntethereddilemma.substack.com/p/out-of-the-frying-pan-and-into-the
I gotta say, I enjoyed this…you are a gifted writer🙂
Thanks, Ben! After I re-read it, I started to wonder if anyone else would be able to follow it given all the place names…and just hoped it would make sense to someone who hasn’t been to Beijing!
It sure does, and I’ve never been to China though I am a big fan of Chinese literature esp. the poetry of Du Fu, Li Bai and Wang Wei. But Du Fu is my fave haha! 🙂
oh interesting, I know Li Bai from...maybe some work I did (I edited an anthology once on Chinese ghost stories?). The others, I don't know. My cultural understanding of China is all lived experience – I spent all my free time studying the language rather than learning about the culture!
But I love reading perspectives that are just so...different, that carry none of the cultural assumptions we're familiar with because they were forged in a completely different cultural environment. It's so interesting.
It’s very interesting and you’re lucky to have travelled and worked there. I’m fascinated by Japanese Buddhist thinking esp the nichiren school which came from China. Here is one of Du Fu’s poems if you feel like reading. Thanks Liya.
https://substack.com/@bendambrosio/note/c-79322064?r=3zkd2z&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
This was beautiful and put words to things I’ve been feeling lately. Thank you.
It’s hard to capture the feeling, isn’t it? But when you have it, you’re keenly aware of it. It’s hard to shake, too. It followed me for years and still emerges, once in a while.
Thank you, Liya, this is so good. I have lived in many places and I so much recognize the feeling of returning to a place where all friends are gone: it gives a strange mix of emotions. As in a dream, everything is still there but other people walk, sit, meet friends, where you used to do that. Especially in places like London or Vienna that don’t change. My last walk on Chang’an avenue is from 1989; the feeling there will be different since the street has changed as much as the people. Looking forward to read more of your writing.
It’s good to know that this is more of a universal experience for people who move a lot. For a while I thought I was sort of losing my mind…
1989 it would have been so different! My friend’s dad (the old China hand) told us about coming to China in the 80s when there was no paper money, just cards or whatever they used for foreigners. It was another world from the Beijing of 2009.
My first time to Beijing was 2006 and when I moved there just after Christmas 2008, it was completely changed. So built up. The place I’d stayed at was gone and the whole city was tall instead of flat. There used to be a man who rode through Qianmen selling coal in the morning in 2006. All that is gone, the whole area transformed.
But in 2009-2012, Chang’An Ave was totally open — no security. I was so surprised to see all the added security in 2019. I think the era I was there was maybe the most open.
Bless you on your journey!
Thank you, Alicia!
<3